Wretched.

It was almost two weeks I could not surf the internet. First I thought it’s my modem fault, and then I went to cyber café and searched for clues or more correctly, the solution. Then I found the related problem faced by other streamyx user too. Luckily he got post the ways so I copied down. I never thought the problem would be getting worst instead of better. The line became unconnected and my effort was useless. Okay, then I finally gave myself enough courage to dial 100. A female voiced was all I heard, with those useless steps that I tried before, just that I did not tell her. Same procedure leads me to nothing. I thought she must be very annoyed by my problem so she decided to give up and told me to call again if the internet still not working.

            Next day 8.30 in the morning, I was in my bed before an annoying phone rang awaked me. My mom answered but she just thrown the phone to me. Can you imagined me, with sleepy mind answered Kelantan Malay? Oh my god, I did not pay any attention and just told him my location, he startled me by telling he will arrived soon. This really set me awaked and I rushed to prepare myself as soon as phone was off my hand. It was almost 11.15 am when two guys came with their TmNet van. They really pissed me off my temper. One young and the other was considered to be old. The younger male worked with my line and the old one just mumbling some words that I did not fathom. It took them an hour before they decided to replace my modem with a new one. Damn it, they also change to wireless. Great! But my PC still won’t work and they just know to say they were hungry. Man, if you have your lunch a bit late you won’t die immediately, besides your fatty acid were used up, wasn’t this more helpful? They gave up and said laptop could be used also and quickly left.

            I settled my pc as soon as they were gone, and it worked out. I can take their salary already. Why the wantan always behave like pig but the truth is they hated pig? I don’t why either. Then a few weeks before my house had been washed up by tsunami, mom got angry about second sister’s jobless status. She actually told me to give up Form 6 and took teacher course next year!!! My God, is she too upset or it’s my ears problem? Gave up Form 6 after I’ve studied for almost half year?!? Great! And I could see it in her eyes that she meant for it. I just took her advice in my ears but not in heart. I knew I’ll made things worst if I intended to be objective.

            Now here’s another problem, my insects, I really didn’t know what will happen tomorrow. Things weren’t as smooth as I thought, some been eaten by rat or went missing without a trace. No one was willing to sacrifice their time for this project; they were up to their own plan, gone for holiday, vacation. I knew it is holiday now but you still can have another longer holiday after STPM. Stick to our project!!! Everything was done by me and I’m honestly tired about it. I walked to somewhere to catch them and then walked to school. After that I had to walk back home again. I’m a human not a robot!!! I have my feelings. When people went to bio lab with their group members, I was so irritated. Why my group members weren’t on my side? Is this a lone project or I’m a person with six heads and six bodies? Transport was the biggest problem that I’d always headache about. I thought I’ve solve that by adding HK to our group but it seems that he was useless. Not so volunteering at all. At this moment, I hate myself for unable to drive. Thinking about this drive me insane!

            Too many frustrations in my head, why my life could not be just perfect as others? If I have my dad on my side, things would never be like this. He will fetch me whenever I want to go; he will teach me how to drive; he will be my supporter against my mom’s will which demanding me to become a teacher; he will stay at night and watch me read books; he will compliment me when I success. But all this “he will” ends on the day he left us. I will never get to hear or see him again. I’m a lonely traveler on my road now. I have no others but myself. No one that can be trusted on my journey to success, no one that can be count on.