Sometimes, I just don’t know why they acted like that. Each of them just wishes to insult me and humiliating me. Do I deserve that kind of treat? Maybe it’s the way they show their love? No, they don’t look like showing any care. No man is an island, but I’m a girl without any island. Did I ask for what happened to me? Did I look happy with my state? I just want a warm hug, an encouraging phrase, yet I don’t deserve it. All I get is just more bruises on my heart. I’m tired of pretending to be happy, tired to love what ever she picked for me, tired of her control, tired of her swaying mood, I’m TIRED, SICK of each of everyone that hurt me without their consciousness. I’m not invisible, I’m not sculpture and I’m not a puppet. Stop treating me like a stupid because I’ll be one who is more mean that you, I swear!
Every year, the most hatred celebration for me is Chinese New Year. I never like it since I was small. If I don’t have new hope for that year, can I just skip it? CNY is a nonsense for me, why? Let’s look at the situation before CNY. First, you need to clean the house. Then decorate you house. Do you ever notice how much time and money you need to spend just before that? Now, what happened during CNY? You get to meet your relatives and here it goes, people started to talk about career, studies and all those related to money. Your parent need to spend money for Red Packets( angpau), most just give RM 2. Here is the problem with my mom, all those relatives she give RM 5. Say she they are our relatives. Then those relatives give us RM 2 only. More accurately, she gives away RM 5 more than RM 2. We are the one who loses the most money.
When I was a kid, there are problems which I haven’t encountered. Now, here it comes. Relatives same ages with us will be compared and contrast, and that is the part that I hate most. If their kids already working, they will start telling about their kids salary, how they work and blah blah blah. Then the one that I felt like putting acid in her mouth, the one and only one who brained-wash my mom and tell her to ask us to become teacher. You son of the bitch! Bloody hell! Since that, each year my mom will only promote teacher to us. If we wish to take other course, you know what happened? She’ll suddenly become a tornado and swapped each of us away. CNY gives us trouble than new hope. After CNY, we’ll need to conserve in everything just to save our budget. Cool huh?
It’s just my humble opinion and if my writing offended my readers, I’m totally sorry but that is what happened to me. Trust me, I don’t ask for it neither. How I hope I can celebrate CNY with a pleased feeling yet things don’t goes as I wish. If they were, I’ll be dreaming. However, I would like to wish all of friends a happy CNY.
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